Typically Unpredicted
by appleshinee
Summary: Short, rushed, here’s a fluffy one-shot. Goku and Gojyo caught doing no good. Could this be yaoi?


"Gojyo, it won't go in."

"Try it again, stupid monkey."

Outside a room away from the rest of their company, the two misfits of the group were up to obvious no good. The golden child's careful fingers slowly repeated the tedious process with no luck as the foreign object repelled itself back. His palms began to sweat. But in times like these where only success could alleviate his frustration, Goku tried again and again until finally the opening had swallowed. "It's in, Gojyo!"

The red head chuckled as he slung his arms around the younger boy's toned shoulders. With a confident grin, Gojyo pressed his long and slender fingers upon two hard buttons. "I want this," he said as he took back his fingers. But there was no response, no movement of any sort. The situation took a nasty turn for the worst.

Sweat began to drizzle down their foreheads but their breathing was slow, short, almost as if they were holding their breaths, and only the steps of dragged feet could be heard. It was coming nearer and nearer, closer and closer, and with each step of the familiar stranger, Goku and Gojyo shivered and quivered, and their knees buckled until the three were together.

The blonde man stood one hand on his hips, the other gripping rather tightly on what appeared to be rolled up newspaper. He opened his mouth and vocalized a stern and demanding voice. "What the hell are you two doing?" But Gojyo was reckless and, although hard to differentiate the two, from one point of view smart to do his forthcoming action, but on the other hand perhaps a coward, nonetheless he patted Goku 'good luck' on the back and booked out of the room in such a hurry that Sanzo had no time to give the redheaded man a beating. But Sanzo's eyes were on only a person; had always been for that person. "Goku," he glared, "Don't make me repeat myself."

What was the child to do in such a scenario? The sun's radiance above him making light the situation yet the sun before him dimming any chance of escape. But Goku knew there had been no escape to which he would have taken even if it were as easy as taking a single step. He only uttered his favorite phrase with bottomless self-pity playing along his lips. "Sanzo…I was hungry."

Sanzo slowly approached his pet, his fingers off his hip, now tapping the newspaper staff still firmly grasped. "Why am I not surprised?" With the distance between the two barely noticeable, their torsos almost touching and their breaths mingled together; Goku's heavy breathing of anxiety with Sanzo's air of casualness. "That still doesn't answer my question."

"Because you wouldn't feed me," he whimpered, "So Gojyo took me here and told me to put it in! He said if I put it in, I'll get food so I…"

Sanzo turned to the machine beside them. The sight alone was enough to cause his eye a strange, irritating twitch. "You can't be serious…" How the monkey's stupidity could still, after all these years, astonish him can never be explained. But watching his monkey shiver in regret, Sanzo thought it was only necessary to do as he planned. "Goku," he paused to gaze into the boy's golden eyes, the boy looking back into the older man's violets, but without warning, no sense of approach, Sanzo began to mercilessly beat the child upon the head with the newspaper, all the while yelling, "You stupid monkey! What the hell makes you think this fucking vending machine would take my gold card?! You only put paper money into this! What the hell am I going to do with you?!"

"Wahhh! I'm sorry!" Goku pleaded, "But you're wrong, Sanzo!" Goku tried to manage his defense between whimpers and whines, "The vending machine ate your credit card! But no food came out when Gojyo pressed the buttons! It's broken!!" Sanzo froze. Rubbing his head, Goku peered up at Sanzo and added, "And I'm still hungry."

Sanzo, perhaps the victim of this tale, dropped his weapon as the emotions of his face drained. "Run," he said, his head hung low so that his fair hair covered his eyes, leaving Goku only guesses to what the monk's expression could be. "Run," he repeated, "And don't let me catch you because if I do, I'm going to fucking kill you."

On the other side of the inn in the safety of Hakkai's company, Gojyo laughed at the thoughts of what hell Sanzo was giving the poor ape. "You are far too old to be causing this kind of havoc, Gojyo. Please control yourself in the future." But Gojyo only gazed upon his friend, giving Hakkai a wink that the peaceful man knew all too well. Like hell that was going to happen.

The end.

Author's notes:

_I wrote this during second period because I wanted to cheer myself up after the following scenarios: I woke up late that morning so I had no chance to eat breakfast but I had five dollars on me so during the beginning of second period, I lied to the substitute by saying I had to take a piss and instead walked to the nearby vending machine and shoved five dollars into it. After pressing two buttons, the machine froze and ate my money without giving me any food. It was a whack morning. But hell, it inspired this piece so I do hope you enjoy. This is for all you sick yaoi lovers out there. – yaoi fanboy #1_

Written: December 11, 2009. Edited: December 11, 2009. Submitted: December 12,2009


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